Quick update

I went in for my Day 10 US on Saturday. Not much to report. Right ovary has 2 follicles at 11 mm each and left ovary is lazily spinning in circles doing nothing lol. I go back tomorrow for another US. Hubbins is due to head to NY this weekend and I wasn’t initially planning to go but now I may have to in order to have all the sects. Will update when I know more 🙂

 

Feel all the things. 

Know what happens when you haven’t had a cycle in almost 3 months and your first cycle you start your Letrozole amidst what feels like your uterus being forcefully ripped out and your whole life being drained out of you? You ugly cry when you get home and find out your husband ate the last of the ice cream. Big sobbing gulping tears. 

Two more days of Femara then hopefully I won’t be big gaping sore of feel all the things. 

*I understand that this is all dramatic as hell –insert shrug here–*

Cycle Day 1!

Cycle Day 1!!!!!!

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I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to see my cycle begin. I was grinning like a fool in the bathroom. (The fertility process makes you crazy…mark my words.)My last day of Provera was on the 19th so I have been stalking my cycle ever since. Let’s get this show on the road! I start the Letrozole tomorrow; 7.5 mg for 5 days and I go in for my Day 10 monitoring US next Saturday on the 5th.

 

Progesterone Week

Progesterone Week

I am scatterbrained.

I just realized I didn’t update after the ultrasound last Wednesday. #Fail

So, as suspected, I needed to do a round of Progesterone to jump start things. I haven’t had a full cycle since….August maybe? I am so ready for my period. I feel…heavy/full. Ick. (Yeah that’s probably TMI and gross but that’s what we do here in the land of infertility and loss; you lose your filter…not that I ever had one, but I digress.)

Anyhow, I am currently on day 6 of my prescribed 7 day cycle  of medroxyprogesterone and then I should expect my cycle to start. Then we start Letrozole.

I would like this all to be timed perfectly so that my day 10-14 monitoring happens before we leave for the cruise on the 19th of November, but when has my body ever done what I asked it to? *smile*

Happy Waiting 🙂

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Screening US scheduled

This Wednesday, we have our next screening US. I still haven’t had a cycle since the one at the end of August so my RE thinks I haven’t ovulated. Spotting has been on and off…. that is about as fun as it sounds. .______. I am going in on Wednesday to do an US and possibly start my Letrozole for this month. I am nervous – not in a scared kind of way. Nervous in…anticipation? It feels like I am gearing up for a race…not that I have ever run a race but you know what I mean lol. I’m excited to see what comes next for us. I have been eating better and trying to get my general life in order. So here we go!!

All systems are go

Last week I saw both my RE and my OB/GYN. The RE was because I had no idea where I was in my cycle (spotting is fun.. YAY PCOS) and my OB/GYN to get a regular well woman check up as I haven’t seen anyone since surgery followup. I also wanted to talk to them both about our upcoming cruise in November in light of the Zika virus. They both said the same thing: you go nowhere if you are pregnant. If I’m not pregnant, the plan is to be cautious.. overly cautious…marinating in DEET cautious. Both feel like since it is a cruise and we aren’t staying on the island for an extended period of time they feel comfortable with us both travelling. I got my lab results back which show I haven’t ovulated this month so Dr. C (RE) said I could technically start Femara/Ovidrel this month. We have decided to hold off until October. We both need this cruise. NEED. One more month of waiting isn’t going to change much. I am looking forward to getting away and coming back refreshed and ready for this next leg of the journey.

What have your doctors been saying about Zika? My doctor’s both seem pretty laid back as I’m not pregnant.

Starting Over Again

It seems fitting that on the one year anniversary of this blog, I go back to my RE today. Yup y’all.  We are starting again. I have been away for sometime. Gathering strength for the journey I guess? How do I feel? Today.. fortified. I’m ready. This weekend, I had a meltdown. It was the first in awhile and I COULD NOT STOP CRYING. A few hours later, I was all right. I think that is what this grief journey looks like for me. And I think it is a good place to be. I won’t ever ‘get over’ my Langston and Lucas. Some days will be hard. That is expected. But most of the days are good and I feel….optimistic? Hopeful is a strong word so I don’t think I’m at hopeful yet. But optimistic is good. I had my TAC. I waited. I have started working (yet AGAIN) on eating healthy and getting regular exercise. I have done my part to prepare to give any future babies the best chance that they can have at staying in and baking for as long as they need to. And above all, I trust God. Sometimes I catch myself planning timing and what happens with work and what happens with buying a house and and and and and I stop myself. I have worried through fertility treatments and pregnancies and it got me nowhere other than worked up. So this time, I’m going to try trust. Wholehearted. Unashamed. Nonsensical (at times) trust. I trust God. I gotta say it till it becomes second nature but till then when I am tempted to doubt, remind myself of the verse below. He has a plan. I just have to be brave enough to stick around to see what it is. So here we go!!!!!

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