All the Updates

23 WEEKS!!!!!!! Y’all.. I think this is happening. *cue excitement*

My excitement has been building. I feel a little more secure but even in saying that feeling anxious. That is the reality of pregnancy after loss; you always have the fear lurking in the background no matter what is going on.  I’ve been alternating between my MFM and regular OB to where I see someone every two weeks. We had our first anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks and have needed a subsequent appointment because Frick and Frack REFUSED to cooperate. The doctor is finally comfortable that she has seen everything that she needed.  I am going back next Friday at 24 weeks for one last check of the chambers of their hearts. One of the perks of a twin pregnancy is supposed to be all of the ultrasound pics that you get. Meanwhile, I have one set of pics from their 12 week appointment. One. At my OB’s office, the equipment is so substandard that everything that she prints me looks like it was drawn on an etch a sketch. Next week I am HOPING they cooperate so I can get some decent pics for the baby books. Other good news from the ultrasound.. GENDERS!! We found out we are having a boy and a girl :))))))) I literally couldn’t ask for anything more.

That’s all the good news. For the not so great news, this pregnancy has been kicking my ASS. I am officially on modified bed-rest because of something called SPD Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction. The short summary is my pelvis has prepped itself for delivery too early. So in essence it always feels like my groin is ripping apart. This is a common complication with twins supposedly. Walking, getting in and out of the car, rolling over in bed are all TORTUROUS. But again, trying to take it all in stride. Last night I spent half of the night sleeping propped up in the recliner because laying on my sides (like you’re supposed to) makes my hips go numb. Laying on my stomach is a nono and laying on my back is miserable for my heartburn.

Hmm what else? My Sis in Law is having a shower for us in NY on the 20th of this month. My other shower is on the 4th of June. Invites went out this week and my anxiety peaked to an all time high. Next weekend Hubbins wants to do an official social media announcement. I’m excited but there is always that nagging voice that says  “am I setting people up to let them down again?”? Trying my best to quiet that voice.

My MFM and I had a talk this last week about what timing of positive outcomes looks like for the twins. We have mini goals. First goal is 24 weeks. Then 28 weeks. Our ultimate goal is 38 weeks but she is comfortable with 36. I can’t think that far ahead. I’m still going day by day and week by week. It is flying and dragging all at the same time. I think that is all for now. Will update again soon.

21 thoughts on “All the Updates

  1. Oh my gosh! I am so glad that I found your blog tonight! I am pregnant after a loss with twins too! I have my second ultrasound tomorrow. I will be 11 weeks on Wednesday. I will be stalking your blog, no joke! It’s been so hard, every day I fear loss. I need all the support I can get from reading others’ journeys about pregnancy after a loss. Can’t wait to keep following yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mama!! And welcome! You are reminding me that I need to post. The journey after loss is CRAZY! You don’t know when to be excited and when to reign it in so you protect your heart. I’ll be posting soon. Keep trucking 😍


  2. Oh How amazing!!!

    Frick and Frack! I love it! LOL

    A boy and a girl, so perfect!

    I am sorry everything is kicking your butt right now, it sounds pretty miserable. But I am so so sooooo happy to hear that these babies will be coming home with you to stay! I know you are still nervous, and that wont change, not even AFTER they are here!

    I can’t wait for the next part of this journey! Happy 23 weeks girl!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Maks and I had a list of about 20 names for Bear (seriously). It was at the shower, we revealed the final name, which at the time, I still wasn’t keen on but everyone at the shower loved it. When Bear finally arrived, I knew for sure it was the perfect name.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. We waited until birth, because I didn’t want people’s opinions and to have people putting their 2 cents in where it didn’t belong. I’m glad we waited until birth.

            MIL still had a disgusted look on her face and in her tone when she repeated it, but she is just a horrible disgusting person. I’m learning to not give a crap what unsupportive and negative people think. We love the name, and EVERYONE ELSE does too. But they don’t matter either. Pick what you and Hubbins feel is right. You may need to see them in person before you know which is right too…

            Good luck!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Ah your MIL 😑😑😑 I read your last post and it made me see red and want to punch something. I think we will just go with what feels right; if it feels right at the shower we will there 😊

              Liked by 1 person

  3. Oops pressed too early! You’ll have the fear when they first crawl, first walk, first day at nursery, school, first love, first car!! But seriously.. it’s natural and understandable. We’re all here for u when u need to vent and especially when you celebrate 🙂

    Take care hun!! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been waiting for u to update!! So so happy all is going well (minus ur excruciating pelvic pain!lol)
    The fear is always going to be there but that’s natural.. you’ll have the fear

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is all wonderful!!! I’m so so happy and excited for you. A boy and a girl! Perfect! I totally get the anxiety, but it sounds like you’re doing amazingly and everything is going well. I’ll look forward to more updates! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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