Last night, well this morning, around 3am, Hubbins and I both placed posts on our social media accounts about our boys.
This was a big move for both of us as we knew that it was exposing a level of vulnerability that we didn’t necessarily want. And we decided to go ahead after our conversation.
When we lost Langston, only a few close friends and family members knew and I actually felt…ashamed. It felt like my boy was something that I did that I shouldn’t tell the world about. And as such, I had to endure people who didn’t know and who made casual remarks that cut to the core. This time when we got pregnant, again, we kept it from a LOT more people than last time. A few people had their suspicions regarding our mass dissapearance from social media and life in general. We felt we were protecting ourselves…and here we are again.
This time, we aren’t hiding our Lucas. This isn’t a mass plea for sympathy on our behalf. This is us begging the world to know that we are parents. We created two perfect boys who could not stay with us on this earth. That doesn’t make us any less of parents in our hearts. We had dreams for our boys. We were proud. My husband, coming from a line of siblings who only make girls 😏, made two sons (this is a very manly thing to do).
Parents of loss are begrudged so much. We give up not only our precious children; we give up all the possible memories that we would have made and this is my way of knowing that our boys will be remembered by other hearts than ours.
Already, friends have contacted me saying that they too dealt with this loss in silence. I am hoping that our transparency gives someone hope that they are not facing this alone.
I didn’t put much up on FB when Jordan was with us. I couldn’t stomach putting his struggles out for just anyone (I used Caring Bridge) but once he passed away I put more. I want people to remember him and to know he was and is more than a lost child. Anyway, I hear ya…
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I’m so sorry to hear about this second loss. My heart is breaking for you guys. This isn’t fair. My prayers are with you, and I’m sending lots of love.
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Thank you hunny. No broken hearts. Positive thoughts for you and little one 😊
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Just wanted to say ur in my thoughts and I hope this doesn’t come across as patronising but i really do think you are so brave to talk/write about what you’ve been through
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Not patronizing at all 😊 I just feel like me honest about what I’m feeling can help someone else who may have to deal with this mess.
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I’m glad you feel you can share it with all of us. Stay strong and reach out whenever you need to 🙂
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I am so sorry to read you lost your second son. When we lost Asher this summer many people did not know we were pregnant and I was 19 weeks. I posted to Facebook about our loss and wanted people to know we had 4 kids not 3. It was amazing to see the support of our friends and family. Hoping the same for you
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Good for you. We need to shatter the stigma around pregnancy loss and shout to the world that it’s not weak to mourn our children, and it’s not OK to suffer alone. Wishing you much love and support from your circle.
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