*Disclaimer* This is a ranty shouty post.*

That  was the caption that announced a Facebook pregnancy announcement accompanied by a picture of a positive pregnancy test.

___Side rant___  I will never not be grossed out by people who share pictures of a stick that they peed on with 895 of their closest friends. I feel differently about the blogs on here of course but there is something about your pastor and your aunt and your nephew you never really met who friended you and you couldn’t say no to seeing something that you urinated on. I could be being irrational *shrug*

Anyhow, after seeing this post, I could only see red for a couple reasons:

  1. You don’t know how this happened? It happened because sex. I know.. that’s a hard concept to grasp but that’s how it works. You have the sex, you get babies. UNLESS…you are one of the infertiles who have the sex on our head, on the bed, on a chair, in the air (Dr. Seuss would be proud) and it still requires a football team worth of medical professionals and an act of God and a drop of rain from the first rainfall of the year in the Amazon for us to “fall” pregnant.
  2. You are 24. You live at home. Your ‘boyfriend’ works at Target. You work at a gas station. Not that it is not possible but do you know how much babies cost? What is the plan here? I know you probably don’t have one because you are so surprised and still don’t know how this happened.
  3. You peed on this stick this morning and you’re announcing to all the internets that you are 2 minutes pregnant. I envy your confidence. I enjoy the naivete that believes that 2 lines on a stick leads to a baby 9 months later. Because you know what, it doesn’t always work that way.

After I shared my ranting manic thoughts with Hubbins he reminded me that we ARE pregnant. So then I felt horrible. Because I am and I shouldn’t begrudge anyone that happiness. But I still feel angry because I know of so many people who have been on this fertility trek for YEARS and they are weary and scared and on the verge of giving up. They are risking their physical well beings, financial stability and mental sanity for even the CHANCE at getting pregnant and those are the people that I want the ‘surprise’ pregnancies for. So while I wish you the best, you are going to be muted while you figure this part of your life out. And now I feel like a bitter hag.

18 thoughts on ““OMG!!! We are so surprised! We don’t even know how this happened!!””

  1. Pingback: “OMG!!! We are so surprised! We don’t even know how this happened!!” – Manufacturing Hope

  4. Thank you for the rant – it was quite satisfying to read. I’ve had to block tons of people on FB too – one friend in particular posted a picture EVERY. WEEK. during her pregnancy and I was like seriously, is that necessary? I know they aren’t trying to be obnoxious, but it does hurt when it seems like we’re trying so hard and spending so much time/money/energy and then these UNFIT people who don’t even know each other or have been together for like a month, those are the ones who seem to get pregnant without even trying. You’d think we would have more control over something so important as procreating. People who don’t want kids or weren’t trying for kids shouldn’t accidentally make a human. And people who want them should be able to have them! Sigh.

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  5. I had to block so many people on FB that I eventually just deactivated my account: first the obnoxious pregnancy announcements (and, like you, I agree that there are non-obnoxious ways of announcing pregnancies so I don’t begrudge the announcement itself), then the obnoxious pregnancy posts from acquaintances complaining about things that I would’ve LOVED to be dealing with (like strangers touching their bellies…I was in a bed for 5 months and expecting to lose a baby that entire time so I was never in public long enough for a stranger to ask me anything about it), then the obnoxious bragging about kids/grandkids hitting milestones early or 1,000 pics of extravagant vacations. I also feel like a bitter hag when I get started on my FB rants — ha! I think it’s hard to be active on FB if you’re sensitive to life’s struggles in any capacity because it’s so rooted in self-congratulatory performances.

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  6. You’re so empathetic for the infertile culture it makes me smile. People like that just don’t understand that it feels like they’re rubbing our nose in their pregnancy. And my gosh have I had arguments in my head about the amazing way that people who work at gas stations and their boyfriends who they’ve been with for six months and have no stable job either just have sex and get pregnant. Actually, I’m getting upset and I kinda wanna punch your fb friend in the face , so I’ll stop with just this.. You’re nothing but a sweetheart who is always going to have a soft spot for your infertile family. And that makes you the best pregnant lady you can be 🙂

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    1. Doesn’t thinking about punching things just make you feel better??! Overall some people are fucktards. Once we accept that, it makes us feel less stabby. This community will always have me heart; I know I wouldn’t have worked through my feelings in the past year without you guys.

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  8. Don’t feel like a bitter hag – you’re not. These people annoy me too, but more than anything I pity them. Because God forbid anything should go wrong, they’ve already announced to the world and his wife and will then have the hideous task of telling everyone that their baby is gone. As annoying as these pregnancy bombs are, (especially so early on because let’s face it, we can’t get THAT excited until our little ones are actually here all pink and wrinkly!) We have to hope that their surprise baby works out for them. Because we know the pain of the alternative. Big hugs to you and nugget, you’re doing amazingly well, and you’re entitled to the occasional rant. Don’t beat yourself up. X

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    1. You are awesome. Deep down, I know I don’t wish anyone the alternative. It just gets hard especially reading stories of people I have come to cherish on here who month after month get a negative test. Thanks for not making me feel horrible about it 🙂

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      1. I get it, I get irrationally angry about anything baby related. I see people announcing at 12 weeks and I get angry thinking “what if I don’t get that far”. But hey, I’m 12 weeks now and have a scan Tuesday – I need to be less hard on myself and other unsuspecting people! It’s not easy for those of us who know how quickly it can all change, so no judgement, just support. 🙂

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