Sitting is hard 

So I need rules. I have realized this about myself. Telling me to “take it easy” means nothing to me. So until I see my doctor on Wednesay, I’m kind of having to come up with my own rules for ‘bedrest’. No more than 15-30 mins of standing every few hours. This stuff is hard because I don’t feel sick. I have so many things that I can be doing in the house. The Christmas tree is still up. I have a bookshelf to clear off. My bathtub needs cleaning. Overall, I realize this is a control issue. I own this. Hubbins went to the grocery store by himself tonight and I was so anxious….then I felt silly about feeling that way. This post has turned into rambling…but I have to get these thoughts out. Hubbins showed me this quote today and it was what I needed to give me a kick out of my funk. 

  There is nothing more important to me than making sure our Nugget gets a chance at life. I have 20 weeks to do what I can to make sure he/she is ok when they get here. I can sit till then. 

16 Weeks

16 Weeks

Due Date: July 15, 2016

Baby Nugget is the size of an: Avocado is 4.6 inches and weighs about 3.5oz

Total weight gain: -3.4 lbs. This number surprised me because we were snowed in at the end of the week and into this week and I thought I was overeating. However, after my appointments Tuesday I was back on track with eating so I guess that helped.

Maternity Clothes: All scrubs this week. When I’m home, I’m in Hubbins’s tshirts and boxers

Stretch Marks: No new ones… I don’t think. #huskygirlproblems

Sleep:  This week was great. Averaging about 6 hours a night getting up maybe twice a night for bathroom breaks. Last night, I had a pill to take at 2:15am and I thought that would throw me off but I had no problem falling back asleep. As I’m grounded for the next few days, I will probably be taking a nap or two throughout my day.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting to Pre-Op and finding all of my ‘mama hens’ there to take care of me. Seeing Nugget’s heartbeat after the procedure and knowing that it was chugging right along at 146. 🙂

Miss Anything? I know I have only been home for two days but I already know it will be rough to be home and not be doing anything. It would be different if I felt sick but I feel fine; I just have to not think about the projects that I could be doing and look at resting as doing my part to keep Nugget incubating for as long as I can.

Movement: Too soon to tell.

Food cravings: Gucamole and tortilla chips. I was talking to one of my girlfriends about my self imposed ban from Chipotle since their E.coli scare and I could feel my mouth starting to water thinking about their guacamole and chips.

Anything make you sick or queasy: Last weekend, we were making meatballs from scratch and the smell of the raw ground meat was SO overwhelming. I had to get Hubbins to mix the meatballs because I couldn’t fathom touching the raw meat.

Gender/Sex Prediction: I feel it is a girl. Planning to not find out till our reveal shower sometime in April/May.

Labor signs: Some pretty serious cramping Wednesday night into Thursday morning. My doctor started me on Indomethicin to stave off preterm labor till I began my progesterone shot today.

Symptoms:  Heartburn, always heartburn

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Bump: Well..here it is.  Starting to look less like tacos. Also: a shot of my comforter lol Coming soon: full body pics when I start to round out and look less like a capital letter B.image4

 

Happy or Moody: Happy! I had an initial moment of panic when I found out that my cervix was shortening but I am realizing that my doctors are so proactive and that is not always the norm. I went into the procedure feeling really calm and everything went smoothly. Also: my first progesterone shoot was not as bad as I expected!! I barely felt it.

Looking forward to: Wednesday I go back to my OB and check to see what progress is being made after the second surgery. Any day that I get to see my little one is a good day. Going to start working on my registry seeing as I’ll have nothing but time 🙂

Also: here is Baby Nugget!!! I was worried when I saw this because it looked like the placenta was smooshing the baby…my US tech laughed at me. .____.

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Home and resting 

Cerclage part deux was a success. Today was perfect. Everyone was so nice to me and went out of their way to make sure I was comfortable. My anesthesiologist today was AMAZING!!!! I didn’t feel a thing when she did the epidural; I have already informed her that she can take no vacation after the month of May. 

I am home and on a new medicine, Indomethacin, for the next 48 hours. It is it to stop preterm labor as I was having some pretty strong cramping last night and this morning before the procedure. I am taking a pill every 6 hours so I’m looking forward to that 2am alarm 😫

My Makena (progesterone in oil) was dropped off today and I need y’all to see this.  

 
WHAT DOES THIS MEDICINE CONTAIN?!!!! The blood of Jesus? Drops from the fountain of youth? Tears from a thousand puppies?!? And this is for a 5 ml bottle of the oil; 5 doses. I count myself as so blessed to have good insurance and a job that provides coverage because there is no way I could pay this out of pocket!! 

I’m home till Wednesday with instructions to take it easy till my follow up that morning where we will discuss what happens from here on out with bedrest. It is not my ideal but there is nothing that I won’t do to bring home our Nugget safe and sound. 

Thank you guys all for your thoughts and prayers 😊

Where everybody knows your name

Cerclage #2 is a go! 

Quick post as I wait in pre-op:I prayed for my nursing ladies to be here today when I came in and they are! They all remembered me and asked for Hubbins (who couldn’t miss work today). I feel really calm and seeing that God answers the littlest prayers makes me confident that Nugget and I are gonna make it through this all. 😊😊

Second cerclage? 

Yup. That’s what that says. At my measurement appointment today cervix is down from 4.0cm to 2.4cm. The MFM suggests that they place another stitch higher up as a reinforcement for the first. She is going to call my OB and I’ll know tomorrow what they decide. If they agree, surgery could be happening Thursday or Friday. Just when I thought I was out of the woods. Baby is doing fine; my body just won’t cooperate. I am scared. 

I have faith in God that this pregnancy will have a different outcome. 

If I just keep repeating that, maybe I won’t lose my mind. 

15 Weeks.

15 Weeks.

Due Date: July 15, 2016

Baby Nugget is the size of a: Pear and measures about 4.0 inches

Total weight gain: -1.8 lbs. I’m up 0.6 of a pound this week. Considering that I have been eating everything not nailed down I’m impressed.

Maternity Clothes: I’m in scrubs and sweats. Haven’t had to wear any “real clothes” this week. However, I did snag some after Christmas sales on some dresses that I have in my maternity drawer. The down side of being a size 18 is that I think I’m gonna have a problem finding traditional maternity clothing and am just going to have to buy a size or two up for when I start getting bigger.

Stretch Marks: No new ones… I don’t think. #huskygirlproblems

Sleep:  Thanks to my awesome pillow that I talked about last week, it has been a good sleep week. Averaging between 5-7 hours a night and I have figured out that if I don’t drink after 8pm, I can actually sleep through the night without needing a bathroom break…basically I’m a 4 year old 🙂

Best Moment of the Week: My dad’s birthday was this past Friday on the 15th and we drove up (down? over?) to North Carolina. In the gift bag with his present was a onesie that said “Grandpa’s Future Fishing Buddy” and he lost his mind 🙂 It makes me so happy to see my parents excited about their future grandchild and I really hope we can make it through this together 🙂

Miss Anything? Not really. I was looking at planning a local weekend trip for Hubbins and I for Valentine’s Day weekend and one of the places had a hot tub and sauna in the room and I realized I couldn’t do either of those #shrug

Movement: Too soon to tell.

Food cravings: Everything! This is the first week where everything has looked amazing to me! I have been trying to have fruit or vegetables at every meal because asshat doctor’s voice has been in the back of my mind all week.

Anything make you sick or queasy: Cologne this week has been getting to me.

Gender/Sex Prediction: I feel it is a girl. Planning to not find out till our reveal shower sometime in April/May.

Labor signs: Thankfully no!! I need these to not be a thing for a good long time.

Symptoms:  It was a really good week. My only real issue was that my back is still pretty sore from the epidural I had for the cerclage. It has been about two weeks now so I expected it to be completely better now. Going to ask doctor about it at my next appointment on Tuesday.

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Bump: I think we are getting somewhere! Pics coming soon.

Happy or Moody: Happy! I have been in a great mood this week. I had a spurt of energy that I have been missing for the past few months. I worked on decluttering our master bedroom this week and making plans for what furniture will be moved where as Nugget will be sharing our room for the foreseeable future. My Pinterest board is full of inspiration for how we are going to make this work for our little family.

Looking forward to: Dual appointments on Tuesday with MFM and my regular OB. Progesterone shots are supposed to start next Friday; not really looking forward to them as I have heard they are a literal pain in the ass but excited as it is one more preventative measure that helps ensure that Nugget stays put for a nice long time. Snowmageddon 2016!! I haven’t had a real ‘snow day’ since college and I’m excited about camping in with Hubbins this weekend. Be safe out there friends 🙂

14 Weeks

14 Weeks

Due Date: July 15, 2016

Baby Nugget is the size of a: Lemon and measures about 3.5 inches .

Total weight gain: -1.2 lbs. Weight related rant: I saw a brand new doctor at my practice this week. Mind you, I have been with this practice since my first pregnancy so last February. The first words this woman said to me when she walked in the room were “you are aware of our policy to transfer anyone with a BMI over 50 to another office right? You aren’t there yet but you aren’t far so I wanted to make sure your doctor’s had told you” MADAM.. I’m fat. I’ve been fat. Solidly been a size 18 for years. Gonna probably get fatter while I’m making this person. I wear a 42HH bra.. that’s 40 of my pounds right there 🙂 Overall for this pregnancy, I haven’t gained any weight, have had a perfect glucose tolerance test, have had zero problems with my ultrasounds and THIS is how you chose to address before even telling me who you are???! My regular OB told me at the beginning we would aim for 15-25lbs weight gain for the whole pregnancy but she hasn’t dwelled on it BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE SURE MY BABY STAYS INSIDE. Needless to say,  I will not be seeing this woman again. I love my practice because I have never been fat shamed. Call me obese on paper? Cool! Treat me like my rolls and I are a nuisance to you? We have problems.

Maternity Clothes: Nothing new. I love that I wear scrubs to work and when I get home I’m in sweats. Only time I have to wear real clothes are for church on the weekend and I have been getting away with my flowier dresses and cardigans.

Stretch Marks: No new ones… I don’t think. #huskygirlproblems

Sleep:  Pretty good this week! Hubbins got me this pregnancy pillow  for Christmas and I finally started using it. LIFE CHANGING! Get one.

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing Nugget’s heartbeat on Monday at the MFM follow-up and AGAIN on Tuesday at the apt with the fat shamer. MAKING IT TO 14 WEEKS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!  

Miss Anything? Not really this week. My appetite has been weird.

Movement: Too soon to tell.

Food cravings: Spicy and citrusy things. This week I took some green mangos and cut them up with lime juice and pepper sauce and it was DIVINE…. of course I got heartburn an hour after, but it was worth it!

Anything make you sick or queasy: Having an empty stomach. The smell of onions or garlic.

Gender/Sex Prediction: I feel it is a girl. Planning to not find out till our reveal shower sometime in April/May.

Labor signs: Thankfully no!! I need these to not be a thing for a good long time.

Symptoms:  More spotting this week and cramping when I have been on my feet for too long.  I am finally getting to the point where the blood doesn’t freak me out. Heartburn is still a constant companion.

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Bump: This week, I can see a difference. Give me two weeks or so and I’ll start posting pics.

Happy or Moody: Elated to make it to today. As of yesterday, I am more pregnant than I have ever been!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking forward to: Telling my dad tomorrow. Having slightly more energy.

13 weeks

13 weeks

Due Date: July 15, 2016

Baby Nugget is the size of a: Small peach and measures about 2.9 inches .

Total weight gain: -2.2 lbs. I am up a pound this week from last week but doctor is still really pleased with my weight gain thus far.

Maternity Clothes: A belly band when I wear jeans. I did invest in some soft cotton bras to sleep in this week and they have been life changing. My breasts feel like boulders and I have maybe 2 more weeks in my current bras.

Stretch Marks: No new ones… I don’t think. #huskygirlproblems

Sleep:  Due to being up worrying about the cerclage, I haven’t been sleeping well. Post cerclage last night, I maybe got 3 hours but I don’t feel tired. Maybe this is the famed 2nd trimester energy spurt starting to kick in?

Best Moment of the Week: Knowing my cerclage was successful and seeing Baby Nugget’s heartbeat after the procedure.

Miss Anything? Not really this week. My appetite has been weird.

Movement: Too soon to tell.

 

Food cravings: I crave different things but usually when I get them I have no appetite for them. This week I wanted NY style pizza, a gyro and a turkey hero and ate maybe 6 bites of each before I was full.

Anything make you sick or queasy: Having an empty stomach. The smell of onions or garlic.

Gender/Sex Prediction: I feel it is a girl. Planning to not find out till our reveal shower sometime in April/May.

Labor signs: Thankfully no!! I need these to not be a thing for a good long time.

Symptoms:  Nothing not cerclage related this week other than Boulder Breasts but I’m sure that isn’t going away anytime soon.

Belly button in or out: In.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Bump: Meh.. who knows. I feel slightly fluffier. Eventually, I’ll start adding pictures once it looks more like a baby and less like tacos.

Happy or Moody: Extremely happy my procedure went well. I know I was worried about the procedure but I feel almost like I have an insurance policy now and I feel a little more secure in my pregnancy. Also, feeling extremely blessed to have regular ultrasounds scheduled.

Looking forward to: Seeing Nugget on Monday and getting my first post cerclage cervical measurement. Additionally, my dad’s birthday is next weekend and we are planning to drive to North Carolina and will tell him on his birthday on Friday. I ordered a onesie that says “Grandpa’s future fishing buddy” and I can’t wait to see the look on his face.

 

 

My Cerclage Experience

I can’t believe it is over and done with! I anxietied about this procedure since I heard that my doctor was going to do it. Wednesday I stayed home from work and did some chores at home because I didn’t know what state I would be in after my procedure on Thursday. Then I attempted to sleep on Wednesday night but ended up staying up most of the right reading my bible and singing trying to reassure myself that it would be alright.

Thursday morning we woke up and reported to Outpatient surgery. I have to say that I was so impressed with everyone who touched any part of this process: from registration to the nurses to anesthesia to the OR and recovery team, they did an amazing job at not only reassuring me during the process but in catering to the fact that I am control freak who needs to know what is happening every step along the way. Back in pre-op I did face a few uncomfortable moments when one nurse asked “Is this your first?” and seeing me hemming and hawing over how to answer she apologized profusely and then bought 2 other nurses over who had losses followed by successful pregnancies with cerclages. These  two women became my ‘mother hens’for my entire day of the procedure. They checked on me in recovery and one even gave me her phone numbers so I could call her cell in case I had any questions about anything during the remainder of my pregnancy. She kept saying “I will be praying for a completely uneventful, boring pregnancy for you”.

The anesthesiologist came back and spoke to me about the plan for the epidural for the procedure as they were hesitant to have me under general anesthesia this early in pregnancy. Then I kissed Hubbins goodbye and went back to the OR. OMG. WHY ARE OR’s SO COLD??!! I’m sure it has to do with infection control but sweet baby Jesus. I ended up with 6 blankets on and a body warmer contraption by the time we were done. The worst part of my entire experience was having the epidural placed. My nurse anesthetist kept reminding me that these are usually done when you are in the midst of labor and contractions are kicking your tail so the pain just merges together but my goodness!! It took them two tries; one with the nurse anesthetist and once by the anesthesiologist because apparently at 5″5 I have a little frame (words I have never heard in life) and the spaces in between my vertebrae are relatively small. It felt like someone had taken a spear and was shoving it in my back and down one side of my body. The second attempt was bad but the medicine began to take effect quickly. It was the weirdest feeling ever; I could feel my legs being tingly (imagine when your foot falls asleep) but I could do nothing to move them. For the rest of the time, they would say “we are going to move your leg now” and I would respond “I believe you”. The only other uncomfortable part of the process was the nausea. That was due to me having an empty stomach as I had nothing since 10 the night before and the fact that the table was tilted on an incline to allow for my doctor to be positioned better. However, my trusty team came through and I learned that rubbing alcohol wipes under your nose for a minute or so will take that nauseous urpy feeling away.

Once the epidural was in I was on the table for maybe 25-30 mins and then to recovery. Before leaving recovery, you have to be able to use the restroom and be able to stand on your own. This took about two hours during which I napped and Hubbins watched Netflix. About an hour in they came and did an ultrasound of the baby and after that I felt a lot better although the quality of the ultrasound wasn’t as clear as the one at Maternal Fetal Medicine. My discharge instructions include no heavy lifting and taking it easy for the next two days. My OB has placed me on pelvic rest (all the sad faces from Hubbins) but he is on board with it. The bleeding was light yesterday and has all but ceased today which is great for my peace of mind. I follow-up with my OB in two weeks but luckily for me I had a cervical length scheduled at MFM for this coming Monday so I get to see Nugget in a few days. The cerclage is slated to stay in till 36 weeks but may come out earlier at 32 weeks depending on how things are looking.

Recovery wise, last night my chief complaint was my back. It is really sore and I declined the Oxycodone that my doctor offered for pain. I am certain she would not have given it if it was safe for baby but I do feel like I don’t want to chance that strong of a drug. So I have been using Tylenol and ice and that has helped a lot. Today I am still pretty sore and I feel a few more cramps than I did yesterday. I have been on the couch and/or in bed most of the day. Hubbins and I did go to Walmart today and after about 20 minutes I could tell that I needed to return to the couch. I don’t go back to work till Monday so I will be laying low this weekend.

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers yesterday. I felt so much calmer because I knew that there were so many people sending positive vibes my way.

I also need to shout out my husband. He is such a calm reassuring force and he understands me so well. When we were waiting in pre-op and he could see my nerves building while we were delayed, he pulled out a deck of cards and helped take my mind off of my endless wondering. Last night, when insomnia had me up at 2 am for about 5 hours, he was by my side on the couch. I can’t get out of bed or cough or turn without him being awake and asking if I am alright. He is going to make such a wonderful Dad and I can’t wait to see him in that role.