*Pretty long post*
I have one Cardinal work rule: don’t cry at work. The moment you cry at work, you will forever be’the girl who cries’. This is sometimes hard because I cry when I’m frustrated and/or overwhelmed. Well yesterday I was the emotional equivalent of a baby seal at work. Tears EVERYWHERE.
It began that morning when I was setting up my instrument for the day. ( I think I have shared on here that I am a Clinical Lab Scientist. Basically, we do all the testing of the blood that comes through the laboratory) So, setting up the instrument involves loading reagents and running quality control (QC) prior to patient samples being analyzed for the next 24 hour period. I pride myself in being efficient in this process and when issues occur being able to resolve them in a timely manner. Yesterday, my instrument did not want to cooperate with me in meeting this goal. QC problems everywhere. Re-calibrations needed etc. In the middle of this, my lead comes over and says: “You need to go to the staff meeting”. I told her I would prefer to go to one next week as I knew I had a lot of pieces in the air at that time. She grabs the QC sheet from me and says: “tell D what you are doing and go. I’m not arguing with you”. Now usually I would have had a smart answer and that would have been that. Not yesterday. D comes over and I start to endorse my work to her and the whole time my eyes are watering and my voice is shaking. I make my escape before full fledged tears.
After the staff meeting (during which I was really quiet, unlike me because…opinionated) I called my OB’s office to follow up on meeting with my doctor to talk about when we wanted to perform my cerclage. When we lost our son she stated she wouldn’t wait for my cervix to begin shortening and do a preventative cerclage at 10-12 weeks. For this pregnancy, I haven’t seen her yet and have only been at my RE’s office.
*Backtrack: on Monday, I emailed my supervisor to let him know I needed to come in at 8:30 as I had an US scheduled at 7 am with RE. He was hesitant as we were already short with it being the day before the holiday and individuals are on vacation but he couldn’t really say no as long as I said I could be there before 9. *
So I’m on the phone with the OB’s office and the only available appointment my doctor has before going out of town for the next week is on Wednesday at 8:30. 😦 I don’t have a choice but to take it because I don’t want to wait that long to get an idea of what we are doing. So I get off my phone and go to my supervisors office to let him know that I now either need the day off or need to find someone to work for me as I won’t be getting in till maybe 11 that day. That is what was supposed to happen. What actually happened : I walked in and started crying and words started tumbling out. I told him about losing our son. I told him I was pregnant again and all these appointments were to make sure we could maybe bring home a baby this time. I told him I didn’t really want to tell my lead about needing an arrangement for Wednesday because she is a notorious gossip who will have your life business on page 6 before you leave her office. I bawled. Big sobbing, gulping tears where your shoulders shake and you aren’t really saying any real words. He sat there nodding, handing me tissues.
At the end of my spiel, he says : “Listen, I am here for whatever you need. All I ask is that you give me 24 hours notice when you need to come in late or leave early. That just allows us to plan. Try to find someone for Wednesday but if you can’t by tomorrow, let me know .We are gonna work together to get you a healthy baby”. CUE MORE TEARS.
I told Hubbins the story and he looked at me like I had two heads because he knows my usual work demeanor. I don’t get personal at work. I keep my private life very separate. I guess I blame HCG levels. But I am happy to have a supervisor that is supportive and that is one thing less I have to worry about.