This fear is something new. I live in a place now of constant terror. This weekend I convinced myself three separate times that I was having a miscarriage. Every time I go to the bathroom, I am convinced that this will be the time there is blood. Hubbins told me today that I can’t live like this for 9 months….and you know what my first thought was? We may not get that far. I feel like a terrible person because I can’t dare hope for a normal 40 week pregnancy. In my mind, I can’t think that far ahead. All I can manage is hour by hour and moment by moment.