Wham, Bam, Thank you Sir

I feel like a bad wife. On the list of the myriad of things that TTC has changed for us, physical intimacy is one of them. On one hand, Hubbins and I are closer emotionally than we ever have been. In the short 3 years that we have been married, we have tackled sickness, job loss, two major accidents and most recently, the loss of our son. Some of this stuff would have driven other couples apart but aspects of our communication have grown. He seems to be in tune to what triggers me emotionally and will go out of his way to either shield me from it, remove me from the situation completely or do his best to inject humor and ultimately he will always make me laugh it out. That part has been great.

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like our sex life is suffering because of this TTC journey. We have lost a lot of the spontaneity. During our fertility window, I feel like I’m all in. I GO HARD Y’ALL….for 3 days. Then shortly after the Endometrin starts and I a) feel like a tired dishrag or b) just feel gushy all the time. After Endometrin for the month, then AF shows up and we are down for the count and the cycle starts all over again.


I desire my husband. I enjoy our sex life. There is just a part of me that sometimes mentally feels like “oh we can’t make a baby right now, I’m going to take a nap”. I don’t want my husband feeling like  I only desire sex with  him for his baby making ingredients. Am I the only one?

7 thoughts on “Wham, Bam, Thank you Sir

  1. Spooky, my next post is on the very same subject. But so good to hear that it’s not just me/us. It’s one of the single best things about the IF community – knowing you’re not alone and discovering others are experiencing so many of the same things. Missing sex drive included! So to answer your question, no, you’re most definitely not alone 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally get this and must say I am in a similar position to kayleighyingling! My hubby feels under pressure to perform in our window that he almost gets the sulks after…..almost like when you’ve had too much to drink and swear ‘I’m never going to drink again!’

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In the two years we’ve been trying I can honestly say that my husband is the one who doesn’t want to have sex as frequently after the fertility window. Crazy right? Haha. We go hard for about a week and he always tells me that he’s sick of having to have sex and will turn me down for awhile. Not that I don’t understand why but I get what you’re feeling. This cycle was a complete exception because neither one of us could have sex before our IUI so we both were excited after the positive opk and insemination was done for some hanky panky.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Funny! I think it’s normal for either spouse to feel like sex is a chore at times when you’re struggling to conceive. Just remember that it’s not a chore! The intimacy in your relationship is extremely important so try not to loose yourself in the process. In the other three weeks that you’re not trying try to make time for a nice dinner at home or just cuddle with a movie. You will find yourselves making love verses trying to make a baby. Hope that helps!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to faithhopefear Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s