We visited a different church yesterday and were blessed to witness a baby boy being dedicated. Baby dedications have always been nostalgic/difficult for me as they represented dreams I had for my life and future. Before I was married, I would see these little families stand up with their new addition and wonder if I would ever find someone to build that with. Once we began trying, I would wonder when it would be my turn to stand with my friends and family as we dedicated our baby back to the Lord that saw fit to give us this wonderful gift. Since losing our son, I have been through two baby dedications with this being the second one. The first was very emotional. This precious child came after recurring miscarriages and there was not a dry eye in church as words were spoken about how this little one was prayed so fervently for daily. We all collectively held our breath as the days and months ticked by and we began to get more comfortable that this baby would make. And then she arrived, and she was perfect. That day I cried tears of joy as I witnessed the ability of God to provide restoration and completion after loss. The tears also represented hope because God is faithful and His promises are true that no good thing that we desire will He withhold from us.
The dedication yesterday found me getting misty eyed again but for a different reason this time. As I listened to the pastor speak of the importance of this day and the symbolism of committing your child’s life back into God’s hands I smiled. I smiled because I realized that dedication can happen at any stage in your child’s life. We are not yet pregnant but I am trusting God that this is not a blessing that He will withhold from us; getting pregnant the first time was difficult and we were blessed to be able to conceive our son. I cannot believe that a God who loves me so much as to allow me the privilege of co-laboring with Him to produce life would place this longing in me for a child only to see it unanswered. There are lessons of faith that I need to learn in this season and I’m trying to do just that.
While learning those lessons though, I can decide to dedicate my unborn and yet unconceived child back to their Heavenly Father. God sees and knows all. He knew my son while he was yet in my body; before I knew I was pregnant, God had already seen my baby and formed him in His perfect image. So to my yet unconceived child, I give you to God even now. I entrust your conception and the circumstances under which you will be created to my Father. I trust Him to form you perfectly and to create every cell of your being in His perfect time. I trust Him to allow you the time you need to grow and to heal my body and equip it to be able to nurture and sustain you till you are ready for this world. Your Father sees and knows you and I trust that when He is ready, He will allow us to be blessed to serve as your earthly parents.
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.
1 Samuel 1: 27-28